Learning to Unmask
If you’ve stumbled onto this blog, chances are you’re somewhere on the path of exploring your neurodivergence—or maybe you’ve been walking this road a while and are tired of the emotional calluses from all that masking.
Same.
I’m writing this from my own experience as someone who spent years trying to “fit in,” “tone it down,” and “get it right.” Spoiler alert: masking helped me survive, but it didn’t help me live.
What Is Masking, Anyway?
If you’re new to the term, “masking” refers to the often unconscious (but exhausting) process many neurodivergent people—those with ADHD, Autism, or AuDHD—go through to hide parts of ourselves in order to appear more "neurotypical." This might look like forcing eye contact even when it’s uncomfortable, mimicking social cues we don’t naturally feel, or suppressing our stims and special interests out of fear of being seen as “too much.”
I spent years overanalyzing my every interaction. I’d come home and crash, socially depleted and unsure if I was even being me anymore. The truth is, I didn’t really know who “me” was outside the mask.
Why Unmasking Matters (And Why It’s So Hard)
Unmasking isn’t about swinging to the other end of the spectrum and rejecting all social norms—it’s about authenticity, about giving yourself permission to show up as you are without apology or performance. And yes, it’s scary. For a lot of us, masking was our armor. Dropping it can feel like walking into battle in a bathrobe.
That’s where therapy came in for me.
How Therapy Helped Me Reconnect With Myself
When I started seeing a therapist—someone who truly got the neurodivergent experience—it was like being handed a flashlight in a very cluttered attic. I started to see which parts of my identity were mine and which ones I’d borrowed just to get by.
Therapy gave me tools to manage sensory overwhelm, set boundaries, and start honoring my needs without guilt. It also helped me process grief—because let’s be honest, unmasking often comes with the painful realization of just how long we’ve been trying to be someone else.
If You’re in Tucson and Thinking About Therapy…
If you’re local to Tucson, AZ and you're ready to explore this work in a supportive, neurodivergent-affirming space, I’d love to connect with you. At Olive Branch Counseling, we offer therapy tailored for people navigating life with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or any flavor of neurospice.
Whether you’re at the beginning of your unmasking journey or knee-deep in the identity reevaluation that often comes with it, you don’t have to go it alone.
It’s a Process
Unmasking isn’t a one-time event. It’s a lifelong process of unlearning, rediscovering, and reclaiming. And yes, there will be setbacks. But there will also be joy. The first time I let myself fully unmask in public and didn’t feel ashamed? It was magical - and it was not linear. I don’t always show up 100% Rachel and that’s okay, my theory is that we show up as much as we can each day and that is enough.
If any of this resonates with you, know this: you’re not too much. You’re not broken. And you’re allowed to take off the mask.
Want to learn more or schedule a session?
We’re currently accepting new clients for both in-person and telehealth appointments at Olive Branch Counseling in Northwest Tucson. Let's build a space where you can finally be you—no mask required.
